Saturday, April 16, 2016

Healing My Self While Being Healed

When we think of healing or being healed we usually think of some sort of remedy for an illness. We do the remedy and it works. We are healed. So, sickness and its corresponding healing is of my body. When I am sick I am aware – really aware – of my physical body. According the ACIM, that is the real function of my body – to provide Felix (my Ego) “proof” that my body and my Self are one and the same. But I have learned I am not my body. Nor am I what I think. So, what kind of healing is the Course talking about? What kind of healing do I really need?
In the text of A Course in Miracles (ACIM), it is stated: “The only thing that is required for a healing is a lack of fear. The fearful are not healed, and cannot heal. This does not mean the conflict must be gone forever from your mind to heal. ... But it does mean, if only for an instant, you love without attack. An instant is sufficient. Miracles wait not on time.” [ACIM: T.27.V-2:5-14; emphasis mine]
As an aside: I think a perfect definition of Acceptance would be: Love Without Attack or Conditions.
The Course tells me sickness and healing are entirely of my mind. Felix’s sick mind is the source of all my pain. Healing is the replacement of wrong thinking with right thinking – the release from fear and the acceptance of love. Ultimately, I will find healing through the letting go of my old perceptions – both of myself as well as of others – that I am separate and alone. This will let me see past my sick appearances to the underlying wholeness – both of me and of all others.
I sure found this to be true, as I became a part of Alcoholics Anonymous, although I would not have expressed it in these words. For the first time in my life I felt totally accepted in those dank church basements sitting at tables designed for elementary school children. I was simply me – as honestly as I could be – warts and all. And that was good enough. That was valued. I was valued. That transformed my life. I have never been the same since. In ACIM lingo, I was being healed as I was honestly sharing in those rooms. “What occurred within the instant that love entered in without attack will stay with you forever.” [ACIM: T.27.V-11:4] Amen Brother! Amen!
The reality of healing, no matter how trivial you may think it is – or how profound (as in my case) – will forever change your life. In AA I heard many old-timers say to a newcomer: “If you want what we have (serenity, joy, and the lifting of the compulsion to drink), then do what we do. Don’t drink, get a temporary sponsor, and come to 90 meetings in 90 days. After that, if you want to go back out and resume your previous life, we will gladly refund your misery. However, please remember, having become just a little acquainted AA, your drinking will forever be ruined.”
I stayed after 90 days. I was driven, not so much by the act of not drinking, but by the fear of losing the acceptance I found in those rooms. I was beginning to perceive that a developing spirituality was bringing me peace and joy because life in that context was always a win-win. Either I was presented with an outcome that materially benefitted me or I was presented with an outcome from which I needed to learn – often referred to as “… another frigging growth experience (AFGE).”
So, what is to fear or be angry about? I’m either getting what I need or I’m given an opportunity to grow in a way that will benefit me. Where’s the downside? Win-Win.
That was simply marvelous.
That was simply wonderful.
That was simply a miracle.
And I began a process – that is still in progress – of changing from the inside out.
And here I am on the eve of my 29th AA anniversary. I could never have imagined this was where I would be when I first entered a small house in Reston, Virginia called “The Stepping Stones.” There were 7 or 8 grizzled old men, who could tell I was new, and who gently began accepting me as the most important person in the world, while the Holy Spirit began healing my mind by providing me with a different way of looking at life.
Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.
#3 Apr 2016

Copyright 2016

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